( I’m sorry for being so depressing lately and venting about this when I probably don’t deserve to. You don’t have to read this but if you wish to, you can. Also, I hope you’re all doing okay and that if anyone ever needs to talk I’m here for you. ❤️❤️) Dear somebody,
I’m sorry you see me as such a problem.
I’m sorry that every time I speak to you, you see me as a monster.
That all you see me is a angry and troubled girl.
That you think I perceive things to be differently.
That is true, but it doesn’t mean my feelings are wrong.
I’m sorry that you’re so sick of me and how I’m so “impossible” and a “liar”. That I always do everything wrong and everything I do/say is frowned upon or seen as talking back to you.
That I’m not allowed to state my feelings because they’re invalid to you, completely wrong and “not right”. That when we argued in that room yesterday I told you that you say all these things to me and you see me as a problem and you said “because most of the time you are”. I’m sorry that nothing I do is ever enough for you.
And that you don’t even try to understand me when you say you do.
That you truly can’t stand me anymore and that I put you through all these things.
But you know what? It’s okay.
If this gives you temporary happiness to blame things on me and consider me the source of your issues, you can go ahead.
I know I’m a strong person and I know you’ll never understand me.
But that’s okay.
I know I’m not crazy and that you’re blinded by your perspective.
You say my feelings are “not right” or “wrong” when I tell you.
But here’s what I don’t understand.
You tell all these doctors how much of a monster I am and how I act and how I’m super mean, but how do you fail so greatly to see what you do to me?
That if somebody hurts my feelings it’s not okay but you can blindly without even realizing it.
I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel this way, but what I’m mostly sorry for is how you feel about yourself. I understand you and I hope maybe one day you can understand me too. - 30 minutes ago