Working on the Self Love Part
So I have spent a good part of this year really working on myself. And I mean doing THE WORK. I have isolated myself (necessarily) in order to really reflect on who I am, who I was in the past and who I want to be moving forward, and how to go about that. .
Being a mum of girls especially, I feel like I need to be an example and cultivate an authentic level of self love in order to raise them as resilient, confident women in a world that basically is designed to make people feel shitty about themselves and tear people down. Hello social media highlight reels!!
Now I don’t need to go into my own history but I have STRUGGLED with loving myself. I have so much anxiety around who I am, what people think, how I come across, if I’m a good person inside regardless of my outer appearance, and what parts of me are the important parts. It’s been a long and hard road. And some days I feel great, I feel confident and self assured and I even feel like I love myself.
Other days (like today) I am wracked with anxiety, and yes even guilt, over the person that I am. I haven’t even left the house or really spoken to anyone and I am crippled with this feeling of not being good enough, and wondering how I am being perceived by those that I care about (or even don’t care about). Of not being a nice enough person. Of maybe I am too selfish. Have I been judging people too harshly to mask my own insecurities? Have I been showing my ass and not realised? So to speak. .
I don’t even know what my point is. I basically needed to vent before the anxiety becomes a full blown attack. I guess what I’m trying to say is the road to self love is paved with so many bumps. It’s not easy. Bad habits of self sabotage and second guessing rear their heads at the worst times. Progress is slow and at times inconsistent. .
But the work is important. For the people in your life, the people you are responsible for, but most importantly for yourself. Because we all deserve it. We can all do and be better for ourselves. We all deserve better. I am/you are/we are a worthy cause and we deserve our love just as much as those around us. - 1 minute ago