I'm not always as happy as I look in this picture. I struggle with major depression and anxiety disorders. I don't always feel the Spirit, despite trying really hard to be a good disciple of Christ.
I sometimes have a bad temper and sometimes lash out at those I love. I'm mostly a pacifist, which means I usually bottle up my emotions until I can't function anymore and then I explode over something small.
Despite all of this, I can recognize the many, MANY blessings in my life. I have been blessed with an incredibly loving and supportive husband and three beautiful children. My husband has a good, stable job that allows me to stay home to care for our children and do the things I love.
I have witnessed actual, physical miracles as well as incredibly sacred and personal experiences involving our Savior and some of my ancestors. My life is not perfect but it is certainly good.
When I am struggling with depression and am unable to feel the Spirit, I rely on the experiences I have had in the past. I focus on the blessings I have instead of the things I lack, like strong mental health.
I read through my journal entries of those sacred experiences and miracles I have witnessed. I study my patriarchal blessing and make it a point to pray more often, asking the Lord what things I can change or work harder on.
In these dark moments, I PLEAD with the Lord to rescue me. I speak to Him outloud. I cry, I yell, I scream at times. I tell Him how I am really, truly feeling. I share with Him those thoughts that I would never share with anyone else and beg Him to take them from my mind.
He listens to my cries and my pleas. In my experience, this has always ended with the Lord speaking peace to my soul, and lifting the darkness from my mind. He might not heal my mind completely but he does give me periods of relief.
I promise the Lord IS listening to you. Keep teaching out to Him. Focus on the small ways your prayers are being answered. Look for the good in your life and focus your heart on that. God is good, even when life is falling apart around you. God is ALWAYS there.
Have a wonderful Sabbath day! Stay strong. Keep smiling. I love YOU!❤❤ - 1 hour ago