it’s eating disorder awareness week, and here i sit... incredibly aware. this picture makes me feel physically ill, as it shows the lowest point in my life - bed-ridden, fed through a tube, and so depressed and hopeless i didn’t want to live anymore. having an eating disorder did this to me. it made me restrict myself from eating so much out of fear of getting ill and not keeping up in life, that that’s exactly what happened. i lost friends, family, time, and most importantly i lost myself. i lost my sense of humor, my optimism, my sassiness, my love for myself, everything. i lost everything to my eating disorder because i didn’t know how easy it would be. i wasn’t told that my eating disorder would be a smooth talker, sliding under the radar and convincing me silently. i wasn’t told that my eating disorder would soon be the only sound i heard in my brain, drowning out coherent and rational thought. i wasn’t told that eating disorders are diseases, that they are fatal, or that countless lives have been lost. i wasn’t told that eating disorders had permanent consequences, that no matter how hard i work i will never be free of the tiny little demon on my shoulder that watches everything i eat. i wasn’t told any of this, and i want everyone to know. know that eating disorders are smart, they will talk you into hiding your life and your choices from others so no one finds out about it. eating disorders are tricky, they will even convince YOU that they are not a problem, just simply hanging around for a bit. eating disorders are dangerous because they are powerful, quiet, sneaky, and can take your everything with no remorse and still want more. eating disorders need to be talked about.
there is one thing i was told that i will hang on to forever: you can recover from this and you will recover from this. and you know what? so can you. 💜 #nedaweek #eatingdisorderawareness #eatingdisorderrecovery - 7 minutes ago