#edfam

644,804 posts

Good morning!
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#empoweringwomen #recoveryisworthit #healthynothungry #nourishnotpunish #bpd #eatittobeatit #bedrecovery #foodfreedom #prorecovery #realrecovery #realcovery #therapy #memes
#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #coaching #edwarrior #edfam #trauma #millennial #bulimiarecovery #anxiety #edawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmemes #depression #ditchthediet

Good morning! . . . . . . . #empoweringwomen #recoveryisworthit #healthynothungry #nourishnotpunish #bpd #eatittobeatit #bedrecovery #foodfreedom #prorecovery #realrecovery #realcovery #therapy #memes #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #anorexiarecovery #coaching #edwarrior #edfam #trauma #millennial #bulimiarecovery #anxiety #edawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmemes #depression #ditchthediet - 15 minutes ago

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Yesterday, I walked into a mirror! I was about to apologise to the woman I thought I was running into when I realised it was ME! There was a split second where I didn't know it was me. In that split second, I formed an impression of myself. It's uncanny how quickly we do this about others!

In that split second in which I was gearing up to say sorry, I thought what a nice woman I've run into, we will both laugh about this! And then 'we' did laugh a lot. After looking around quickly to make sure no one had seen this little scene. Then I tried to recreate it immediately and capture it on camera (quite hard to do). What was so interesting about this is that in that fleeting instant I saw myself as attractive and warm and substantial (in terms of character). I looked like someone who had really lived, in a good way. I really liked me.

It was a literal smack-in-the-face reminder of an important body image truth: we are not born hating the way we look. We actually have to learn not to like our own reflection. The default is to accept ourselves without reservation.

I had bypassed my own conditioning when I thought that my reflection was someone else. This was a good indicator for me that I need to do some more body image work. My conditioning has crept back in. It has morphed into thinking I look 'old' versus thinking I look 'fat'. So I am recommitting to doing some more mirror work every day.

One practice that I have found to be effective is to look in the mirror and keep looking until I feel compassion for myself. Sometimes I see my own beauty and sometimes acceptance is as good as it gets. Usually I do this throughout the day after the loo when I'm washing and drying my hands.

If you are struggling to love - or even accept - your reflection in the mirror remember that somewhere inside, perhaps buried under many layers, you do know how to see yourself clearly. There was a time when you didn't judge yourself, didn't only see what you want to change. And you can get back there! We both can.

Yesterday, I walked into a mirror! I was about to apologise to the woman I thought I was running into when I realised it was ME! There was a split second where I didn't know it was me. In that split second, I formed an impression of myself. It's uncanny how quickly we do this about others! In that split second in which I was gearing up to say sorry, I thought what a nice woman I've run into, we will both laugh about this! And then 'we' did laugh a lot. After looking around quickly to make sure no one had seen this little scene. Then I tried to recreate it immediately and capture it on camera (quite hard to do). What was so interesting about this is that in that fleeting instant I saw myself as attractive and warm and substantial (in terms of character). I looked like someone who had really lived, in a good way. I really liked me. It was a literal smack-in-the-face reminder of an important body image truth: we are not born hating the way we look. We actually have to learn not to like our own reflection. The default is to accept ourselves without reservation. I had bypassed my own conditioning when I thought that my reflection was someone else. This was a good indicator for me that I need to do some more body image work. My conditioning has crept back in. It has morphed into thinking I look 'old' versus thinking I look 'fat'. So I am recommitting to doing some more mirror work every day. One practice that I have found to be effective is to look in the mirror and keep looking until I feel compassion for myself. Sometimes I see my own beauty and sometimes acceptance is as good as it gets. Usually I do this throughout the day after the loo when I'm washing and drying my hands. If you are struggling to love - or even accept - your reflection in the mirror remember that somewhere inside, perhaps buried under many layers, you do know how to see yourself clearly. There was a time when you didn't judge yourself, didn't only see what you want to change. And you can get back there! We both can. - 20 minutes ago

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#update
Ich bin seit Mittwoch krankgeschrieben. Das war schwer. Sehr sogar. Aber es ging einfach nicht mehr. Ich konnte nicht mehr. Ich hatte um 9 Uhr #therapie und im Anschluss bin ich kurzentschlossen zu meiner Psychiaterin und hab um das Attest gebeten. Ich glaube, alle waren froh über diesen Entschluss. Ich habe auch wieder seroquel verschrieben bekommen und dank des Medikaments nun auch 2 Nächte schlafen können. Irgendwie ist es schon etwas besser geworden und auch auf Arbeit scheinen sie verständnisvoll. Meine Chefin hat mir eine sehr liebe Mail geschrieben und mein Kollege muss nun leider, leider unsere Projekte kommende Woche allein vorstellen. Allein dafür hat sich diese #auszeit gelohnt.🙈 Ich habe für heute auch noch einen Termin bei Herrn Therapeuten bekommen, wofür ich sehr dankbar bin. Und da ich schon sehr früh wach war und einen starken Bewegungsdrang verspürte, bin ich kurzerhand die 5km zur Praxis gelaufen. Das tat gut. Nun trinke ich noch einen #kaffee und warte auf meinen Termin. Ruhig. Wenn ich es schaffe, werde ich vielleicht in einem späteren Post ausführlicher auf die aktuelle Situation eingehen - es wäre viel zu viel für einen Post. Passt auf euch auf!
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#mentalhealth #selfcare #takecare #depression #breakdown #selfcaretime #coffee #coffeetime #pause #potd #postworkout #edfam #krank #paulocoelho #blackcoffee #recovery

#update Ich bin seit Mittwoch krankgeschrieben. Das war schwer. Sehr sogar. Aber es ging einfach nicht mehr. Ich konnte nicht mehr. Ich hatte um 9 Uhr #therapie und im Anschluss bin ich kurzentschlossen zu meiner Psychiaterin und hab um das Attest gebeten. Ich glaube, alle waren froh über diesen Entschluss. Ich habe auch wieder seroquel verschrieben bekommen und dank des Medikaments nun auch 2 Nächte schlafen können. Irgendwie ist es schon etwas besser geworden und auch auf Arbeit scheinen sie verständnisvoll. Meine Chefin hat mir eine sehr liebe Mail geschrieben und mein Kollege muss nun leider, leider unsere Projekte kommende Woche allein vorstellen. Allein dafür hat sich diese #auszeit gelohnt.🙈 Ich habe für heute auch noch einen Termin bei Herrn Therapeuten bekommen, wofür ich sehr dankbar bin. Und da ich schon sehr früh wach war und einen starken Bewegungsdrang verspürte, bin ich kurzerhand die 5km zur Praxis gelaufen. Das tat gut. Nun trinke ich noch einen #kaffee und warte auf meinen Termin. Ruhig. Wenn ich es schaffe, werde ich vielleicht in einem späteren Post ausführlicher auf die aktuelle Situation eingehen - es wäre viel zu viel für einen Post. Passt auf euch auf! . #mentalhealth #selfcare #takecare #depression #breakdown #selfcaretime #coffee #coffeetime #pause #potd #postworkout #edfam #krank #paulocoelho #blackcoffee #recovery - 27 minutes ago

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It’s been an eventful day to say the least. Had my first day of placement after a false start on Monday (supervisor was sick). I’d been anxious about it for weeks, but it went fine and everyone seemed lovely! However, a driver who wasn’t watching ran up the back of me while I was driving, so that was a very stressful start to the day!

It’s been an eventful day to say the least. Had my first day of placement after a false start on Monday (supervisor was sick). I’d been anxious about it for weeks, but it went fine and everyone seemed lovely! However, a driver who wasn’t watching ran up the back of me while I was driving, so that was a very stressful start to the day! - 29 minutes ago

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#edstruggles #edrecovery #edfighters #edwarrior #edhumor #anorexia #bulimia #ednos #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #edfam #edfamily #recoveringeatingdisorders #eatingdisorderawarness #eatingdisorders #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthawarness #recovery #mentalhealthrecovery #endthestigma #рпп #tca #healthylife #staystrong #youcandoit #fightingforlife #peersupport #encouragin #keepgoing

#edstruggles #edrecovery #edfighters #edwarrior #edhumor #anorexia #bulimia #ednos #anorexiarecovery #bulimiarecovery #edfam #edfamily #recoveringeatingdisorders #eatingdisorderawarness #eatingdisorders #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthawarness #recovery #mentalhealthrecovery #endthestigma #рпп #tca #healthylife #staystrong #youcandoit #fightingforlife #peersupport #encouragin #keepgoing - 1 hour ago

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Night snack is a slice of chocolate cream pie! 😋🍫🍰🎂🥧 tonight was my first night of not doing a ton of work and it was amazing 👏 I feel like this last week school has really hit me so it was nice to relax 🙌 I’m hoping my weekend will be quite chill but I still have some homework to do :/ there’s only a couple more weeks until spring break though! ❤️😘 xxx #prorecovery #minniemaud #edfam #ednos #edfood #edarmy #edrecovery #fearfood #boobsoverbones #anawarrior #anarecovery  #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #recoverywarrior #recoveryarmy #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #eattolive #chocolatecreampie #eattogain #edfamily #anafamily #goodbyeed #edcommunity #beated #recoverywin #happypoints

Night snack is a slice of chocolate cream pie! 😋🍫🍰🎂🥧 tonight was my first night of not doing a ton of work and it was amazing 👏 I feel like this last week school has really hit me so it was nice to relax 🙌 I’m hoping my weekend will be quite chill but I still have some homework to do :/ there’s only a couple more weeks until spring break though! ❤️😘 xxx #prorecovery #minniemaud #edfam #ednos #edfood #edarmy #edrecovery #fearfood #boobsoverbones #anawarrior #anarecovery #recoveryisworthit #recoveryispossible #recoverywarrior #recoveryarmy #anorexia #anorexianervosa #anorexiarecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #eattolive #chocolatecreampie #eattogain #edfamily #anafamily #goodbyeed #edcommunity #beated #recoverywin #happypoints - 2 hours ago

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Welcome 🙂 I am posting a full day of eating from some days ago today (I am at healthy weight for almost 5 years now). If I am still hungry, I eat a second plate, second bowl, second bar etc., that is not pictured. Just a little inspiration for you! 😊 How is your journey going? Wish you a wonderful day!! ••••• Breakfast: Müsli and Coffee with oatmilk (not pictured), Snack: Organic croissant, Lunch: Pasta with pesto and Salad (unpictured), Snack: Chocolate cake and coffee with oatmilk (biggest love ever 😂), Dinner: Some bread with different stuff, vegetables, egg and tea. Snacks: Chips, chocolate, Lion and some more candies.•••••#keepfighting 💖

Welcome 🙂 I am posting a full day of eating from some days ago today (I am at healthy weight for almost 5 years now). If I am still hungry, I eat a second plate, second bowl, second bar etc., that is not pictured. Just a little inspiration for you! 😊 How is your journey going? Wish you a wonderful day!! ••••• Breakfast: Müsli and Coffee with oatmilk (not pictured), Snack: Organic croissant, Lunch: Pasta with pesto and Salad (unpictured), Snack: Chocolate cake and coffee with oatmilk (biggest love ever 😂), Dinner: Some bread with different stuff, vegetables, egg and tea. Snacks: Chips, chocolate, Lion and some more candies.•••••#keepfighting 💖 - 3 hours ago

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Unpopular truth of the day

You need to eat out regularly.

You need to get your brownies at a local bakery, not prepacked ones at the Supermarket.

You need to eat Pasta at Italian Restaurants.

You need to get Pizza slices, ice cream, BBQ etc at Restaurants

Why you need to do so?

You need to learn to give control re food to someone else.

You need to eat things you do not know the calorie content of.

You need to learn what portion sizes look Like.

You need to fake normal life til you make it.

So where will you eat out next?

Pic: food

Unpopular truth of the day You need to eat out regularly. You need to get your brownies at a local bakery, not prepacked ones at the Supermarket. You need to eat Pasta at Italian Restaurants. You need to get Pizza slices, ice cream, BBQ etc at Restaurants Why you need to do so? You need to learn to give control re food to someone else. You need to eat things you do not know the calorie content of. You need to learn what portion sizes look Like. You need to fake normal life til you make it. So where will you eat out next? Pic: food - 4 hours ago

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#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #edfighter #edwarrior #anarecovery #bulimiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryispossible #ed #intuitiveeating #bulimia #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #food #selflove #anorexianervosa #mentalhealthawareness #haes #edfam #recoverywarrior #anorexiafighter #fearfood #bodypositive #foodfreedom #bhfyp

#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #edfighter #edwarrior #anarecovery #bulimiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryispossible #ed #intuitiveeating #bulimia #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #food #selflove #anorexianervosa #mentalhealthawareness #haes #edfam #recoverywarrior #anorexiafighter #fearfood #bodypositive #foodfreedom #bhfyp - 5 hours ago

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#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #edfighter #edwarrior #anarecovery #bulimiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryispossible #ed #intuitiveeating #bulimia #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #food #selflove #anorexianervosa #mentalhealthawareness #haes #edfam #recoverywarrior #anorexiafighter #fearfood #bodypositive #foodfreedom #bhfyp

#edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #recovery #anorexiarecovery #anorexia #eatingdisorder #mentalhealth #edfighter #edwarrior #anarecovery #bulimiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryispossible #ed #intuitiveeating #bulimia #recoveryisworthit #recoverywin #food #selflove #anorexianervosa #mentalhealthawareness #haes #edfam #recoverywarrior #anorexiafighter #fearfood #bodypositive #foodfreedom #bhfyp - 5 hours ago

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I say this multiple times a day. Recovery is hard. So hard. It’s a fricking uphill battle on a good day.
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And today that hill was a little too steep in places but just right in others.
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I want to stop calling days failures. Because that implies there’s a right way to eat and that’s just not true.
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And I refuse to call today a failure because even though I bought food I didn’t feel really hungry for, there was a purpose. And I ate food I had prepared for myself at home previously too. So it was a mixed day. And even if it was possible to fail at a day of eating today wouldn’t count. There were ups and downs.
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I’m aiming for a healthy relationship with food. Not necessarily another life of restricting certain foods that are deemed “bad.”
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I just want to make choices and know that I honored my wants and cravings and nutritional needs. It doesn’t have to be perfect. (Living in the gray is HARD). But I want to know that I’m in the drivers seat and not my eating disorder.
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And since childhood that has meant “stop eating out.” That has been the villain all along. And now the reasons have morphed. But it’s still what I feel like I need to do to be “healthy.”
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What a trip. Restricting foods for financial reasons is still not a intuitive eating relationship with food. But it’s complex as all get out.
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So here I go to climb back up this hill tomorrow. We’ll see how it goes.

I say this multiple times a day. Recovery is hard. So hard. It’s a fricking uphill battle on a good day. . And today that hill was a little too steep in places but just right in others. . I want to stop calling days failures. Because that implies there’s a right way to eat and that’s just not true. . And I refuse to call today a failure because even though I bought food I didn’t feel really hungry for, there was a purpose. And I ate food I had prepared for myself at home previously too. So it was a mixed day. And even if it was possible to fail at a day of eating today wouldn’t count. There were ups and downs. . I’m aiming for a healthy relationship with food. Not necessarily another life of restricting certain foods that are deemed “bad.” . I just want to make choices and know that I honored my wants and cravings and nutritional needs. It doesn’t have to be perfect. (Living in the gray is HARD). But I want to know that I’m in the drivers seat and not my eating disorder. . And since childhood that has meant “stop eating out.” That has been the villain all along. And now the reasons have morphed. But it’s still what I feel like I need to do to be “healthy.” . What a trip. Restricting foods for financial reasons is still not a intuitive eating relationship with food. But it’s complex as all get out. . So here I go to climb back up this hill tomorrow. We’ll see how it goes. - 6 hours ago

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2️⃣1️⃣! And the days leading up to it I went to the hospital to take care of my mental health. I took a step back from life and took care of me in the moment. I won’t lie, I was terrified. Terrified to go back to a hospital and felt disappointed in myself for getting to a place where I needed to go back.

And then I took a step back and thought about how strong I am. How strong I have been to keep fighting when I wanted to give up. The power I had to ask for help and willing step back up to a higher level of care.

Life is constantly changing and that’s okay. We don’t always have to like it. We don’t always have to agree with it and we have so much strength when we keep going. We have survived 100% of the days that have been thrown at us. We have made it. We survived. And I’m proud. Proud of you and proud of myself.

And now I’m off to Vegas to celebrate this year and another year of fighting and trying.

2️⃣1️⃣! And the days leading up to it I went to the hospital to take care of my mental health. I took a step back from life and took care of me in the moment. I won’t lie, I was terrified. Terrified to go back to a hospital and felt disappointed in myself for getting to a place where I needed to go back. And then I took a step back and thought about how strong I am. How strong I have been to keep fighting when I wanted to give up. The power I had to ask for help and willing step back up to a higher level of care. Life is constantly changing and that’s okay. We don’t always have to like it. We don’t always have to agree with it and we have so much strength when we keep going. We have survived 100% of the days that have been thrown at us. We have made it. We survived. And I’m proud. Proud of you and proud of myself. And now I’m off to Vegas to celebrate this year and another year of fighting and trying. - 8 hours ago

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No Slacking on Snacking so a New Scary Bar for a Star  Night Snack I Think ⭐️ 😥. Night Snack; Pure Gym Protein Bar Chocolate 🍫 Caramel Flavour and Kvarg Yogurt  Raspberry Flavour 😍 
Can’t believe I did this and stuck to my plan despite the challenges I’ve had for lunch and dinner… My head was screaming that this was too much and the amount of calories I’ve had for today makes me feel so uncomfortable but I know it’s what I have to do if I want to recover … And even though it felt like the right thing to skip the protein bar and just have the yoghurt that will just be giving into anorexia and defeating the object of the challenges I had previously  smashed ✋ 
Will not let Anorexia Ruin  a really good day so I wanted to finish with a bang and give my ED a beating! 
I took control and completed my snack!… A NEW Protein Bsr of pure gym chocolate caramel flavour… I enjoyed the cookies and cream version I had of this bar so much I went and picked up a few more and found a chocolate caramel flavour… I thought chocolate caramel would be really boring but once again these bars have impressed me!  The chocolate coating is better than I’ve had on any other bar so smooth and creamy and taste just like real chocolate! It’s also super soft and the caramel just the right amount of chew  without being overly sweet so lush and I had it with my favourite fruity yoghurt have not had the Raspberry  for a few days and it made a nice change 💯 
I felt so full and disgusting after this as well and since it was really late I just felt like I should go to bed but I know that food is a priority and it’s never too late as that’s just giving anorexia an excuse to avoid something I fear
😫 The voices were telling me to go for the cookies and cream flavour as I stupidly weighed this bar and it weighed 4 g more than what the packet said but seriously why choose the lower option for the sake of 4 g so I stuck to the one I really wanted! 
so I felt so guilty it was sort of empowering to do the opposite of what anorexia was screaming 😱 
so much easier said than done to just feel the fear and do it anyway ! 
yes this is scary but living with anorexia for the rest of my life is scarier ✨ ✌️

No Slacking on Snacking so a New Scary Bar for a Star Night Snack I Think ⭐️ 😥. Night Snack; Pure Gym Protein Bar Chocolate 🍫 Caramel Flavour and Kvarg Yogurt Raspberry Flavour 😍 Can’t believe I did this and stuck to my plan despite the challenges I’ve had for lunch and dinner… My head was screaming that this was too much and the amount of calories I’ve had for today makes me feel so uncomfortable but I know it’s what I have to do if I want to recover … And even though it felt like the right thing to skip the protein bar and just have the yoghurt that will just be giving into anorexia and defeating the object of the challenges I had previously smashed ✋ Will not let Anorexia Ruin a really good day so I wanted to finish with a bang and give my ED a beating! I took control and completed my snack!… A NEW Protein Bsr of pure gym chocolate caramel flavour… I enjoyed the cookies and cream version I had of this bar so much I went and picked up a few more and found a chocolate caramel flavour… I thought chocolate caramel would be really boring but once again these bars have impressed me! The chocolate coating is better than I’ve had on any other bar so smooth and creamy and taste just like real chocolate! It’s also super soft and the caramel just the right amount of chew without being overly sweet so lush and I had it with my favourite fruity yoghurt have not had the Raspberry for a few days and it made a nice change 💯 I felt so full and disgusting after this as well and since it was really late I just felt like I should go to bed but I know that food is a priority and it’s never too late as that’s just giving anorexia an excuse to avoid something I fear 😫 The voices were telling me to go for the cookies and cream flavour as I stupidly weighed this bar and it weighed 4 g more than what the packet said but seriously why choose the lower option for the sake of 4 g so I stuck to the one I really wanted! so I felt so guilty it was sort of empowering to do the opposite of what anorexia was screaming 😱 so much easier said than done to just feel the fear and do it anyway ! yes this is scary but living with anorexia for the rest of my life is scarier ✨ ✌️ - 8 hours ago

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HotPot as I Will Not Stop or Compensate 🛑 🦋 
anorexia has given me so much grief after a really difficult lunch but that doesn’t mean I can restrict my dinner and yet  another challenge to really kick the  ED 👿
Dinner Lamb Hotpot with Green Beans 😋 👏🏻
I know this is the dinner that I have every Thursday but it’s not my usual taste the difference one… Dad called me to say Sainsbury’s didn’t have my usual taste the difference lamb hotpot… Initially I freaked out and had a mini meltdown but realised the sensible thing to do is just to get the nearest alternative which is this Sainsbury’s classic lamb hotpot ready meal... Lamb Mince in Rich Gravy with Carrots Onion and Peas Topped with Sliced Potatoes 🙈⚡️ my head was screaming so much about this as this ready meal is a lot higher than the taste the difference when are usually have and is also more fat and carbs really not what I needed after a increased lunch but where would restricting and compensating get me? Further into the depths of anorexia so I knew I just have to suck it up and eat it! 
I do genuinely prefer the taste the difference one as it has proper chance of lamb where this is just mince and generally feels more greasy 🤢 
potion always feels a lot bigger as well but I’m trying to reassure myself it’s just anorexia fooling  me… It was still quite tasty and I did enjoy it… The lamb was juicy and tender and the gravy was rich and flavoursome with a nice consistency and I really like the addition of the peas… Once again instructions for this all messed up but I did it so that the potato slices on top were nice and crispy but soft underneath 👌  Tw‼️ The menu actually says green beans and carrots but I left out the carrots as it already had some in and NGL having the carrots would take me over my safe amount of calories which I allow for my dinner and it was also more carbs which I know is pathetic as it’s just a bloody vegetable but this was very mentally traumatic as it was so I’m still quite proud

I felt so bad for having a fatty hearty unhealthy dinner but I know these are just anorexia is lies this is a perfectly balanced meal and it won’t hurt me 😔
Had the Higher Lamb Hotpot bc I CAN👊

HotPot as I Will Not Stop or Compensate 🛑 🦋 anorexia has given me so much grief after a really difficult lunch but that doesn’t mean I can restrict my dinner and yet another challenge to really kick the ED 👿 Dinner Lamb Hotpot with Green Beans 😋 👏🏻 I know this is the dinner that I have every Thursday but it’s not my usual taste the difference one… Dad called me to say Sainsbury’s didn’t have my usual taste the difference lamb hotpot… Initially I freaked out and had a mini meltdown but realised the sensible thing to do is just to get the nearest alternative which is this Sainsbury’s classic lamb hotpot ready meal... Lamb Mince in Rich Gravy with Carrots Onion and Peas Topped with Sliced Potatoes 🙈⚡️ my head was screaming so much about this as this ready meal is a lot higher than the taste the difference when are usually have and is also more fat and carbs really not what I needed after a increased lunch but where would restricting and compensating get me? Further into the depths of anorexia so I knew I just have to suck it up and eat it! I do genuinely prefer the taste the difference one as it has proper chance of lamb where this is just mince and generally feels more greasy 🤢 potion always feels a lot bigger as well but I’m trying to reassure myself it’s just anorexia fooling me… It was still quite tasty and I did enjoy it… The lamb was juicy and tender and the gravy was rich and flavoursome with a nice consistency and I really like the addition of the peas… Once again instructions for this all messed up but I did it so that the potato slices on top were nice and crispy but soft underneath 👌 Tw‼️ The menu actually says green beans and carrots but I left out the carrots as it already had some in and NGL having the carrots would take me over my safe amount of calories which I allow for my dinner and it was also more carbs which I know is pathetic as it’s just a bloody vegetable but this was very mentally traumatic as it was so I’m still quite proud I felt so bad for having a fatty hearty unhealthy dinner but I know these are just anorexia is lies this is a perfectly balanced meal and it won’t hurt me 😔 Had the Higher Lamb Hotpot bc I CAN👊 - 8 hours ago

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A.question I've been sitting with a lot lately.
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Exercise compulsion is real and it's not only socially acceptable, it's praised. Tell someone you're struggling to stay out of the gym and the typical response is "I wish I had that problem" or "I suppose there could be worse problems to have".
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And sure, I suppose there could be worse problems to have. But in a world where everyone proudly and loudly proclaims the health benefits of exercise, breaking free of exercise compulsion can be really really tough. If that's you right now, I see you. I feel you. Keep going. You deserve to rest ♥️
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⚠️ Some warning signs to watch for ⚠️ Maintaining an excessive, rigid exercise regimen – despite illness, injury or fatigue. ⚠️ Discomfort with rest or inactivity. ⚠️ Exercise used to manage emotions. ⚠️ Exercise as a means of purging (needing to “get rid of” or “burn off” calories). ⚠️ Exercise as permission to eat. ⚠️ Feeling as though you are not good enough, fast enough or not pushing hard enough during a period of exercise. ⚠️ Overtraining ⚠️
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#selflove #selfacceptance .
#bodyimage #antidiet #intuitiveeating #intuitiveeatingofficial #haes  #healthateverysize #fatphobia #dietculture #selfcare #bikinicompetitor #bikiniprep #fitfreak #fitnessaddict #gymaholic #competitionprep #reversediet #contestprep #ditchthediet #bopo #bodypositvity #allin #edrecovery #orthorexia #edfam

A.question I've been sitting with a lot lately. . Exercise compulsion is real and it's not only socially acceptable, it's praised. Tell someone you're struggling to stay out of the gym and the typical response is "I wish I had that problem" or "I suppose there could be worse problems to have". . And sure, I suppose there could be worse problems to have. But in a world where everyone proudly and loudly proclaims the health benefits of exercise, breaking free of exercise compulsion can be really really tough. If that's you right now, I see you. I feel you. Keep going. You deserve to rest ♥️ . **************************************** ⚠️ Some warning signs to watch for ⚠️ Maintaining an excessive, rigid exercise regimen – despite illness, injury or fatigue. ⚠️ Discomfort with rest or inactivity. ⚠️ Exercise used to manage emotions. ⚠️ Exercise as a means of purging (needing to “get rid of” or “burn off” calories). ⚠️ Exercise as permission to eat. ⚠️ Feeling as though you are not good enough, fast enough or not pushing hard enough during a period of exercise. ⚠️ Overtraining ⚠️ . #selflove #selfacceptance . #bodyimage #antidiet #intuitiveeating #intuitiveeatingofficial #haes #healthateverysize #fatphobia #dietculture #selfcare #bikinicompetitor #bikiniprep #fitfreak #fitnessaddict #gymaholic #competitionprep #reversediet #contestprep #ditchthediet #bopo #bodypositvity #allin #edrecovery #orthorexia #edfam - 9 hours ago

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Who heard Demi Lovato on @AshleyGraham’s podcast @prettybigdealpod talking about recovery? She shared that leading up to her overdose in 2018 she was "tired of running myself into the ground with workouts and extreme dieting, that I thought the past few years was recovery from an eating disorder when it actually was just completely falling into it." ⁣⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It’s so important to talk about the dangers of quasi-recovery. That middle ground between in an eating disorder and a recovered life is a tough place to be. And ‘socially acceptable’ behaviors like dieting and excessive working out can definitely keep us stuck without raising a major red flag. ⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Thanks to @ddlovato for talking about an important part of the recovery process and the vulnerable and dangerous position it can keep us in! ⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Who has struggled with quasi-recovery and what has helped you to get out of that place? And if you are stuck there now, what is stopping you from getting to the fully recovered life you deserve? ⁣⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#demilovato #edrecovery ⁣#lovatics

Who heard Demi Lovato on @AshleyGraham ’s podcast @prettybigdealpod talking about recovery? She shared that leading up to her overdose in 2018 she was "tired of running myself into the ground with workouts and extreme dieting, that I thought the past few years was recovery from an eating disorder when it actually was just completely falling into it." ⁣⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⁣⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It’s so important to talk about the dangers of quasi-recovery. That middle ground between in an eating disorder and a recovered life is a tough place to be. And ‘socially acceptable’ behaviors like dieting and excessive working out can definitely keep us stuck without raising a major red flag. ⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Thanks to @ddlovato for talking about an important part of the recovery process and the vulnerable and dangerous position it can keep us in! ⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⁣⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Who has struggled with quasi-recovery and what has helped you to get out of that place? And if you are stuck there now, what is stopping you from getting to the fully recovered life you deserve? ⁣⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⁣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #demilovato #edrecovery#lovatics - 9 hours ago

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FEELING THE FEAR AND DOIBG IT ANWAY AFTER A FAB DAY 😦 💪 
had an amazing day but I’m feeling super anxious and guilty about all this food…  I chose to have some scary options for both lunch dinner and night  snack and now  it’s hitting me the thoughts are so loud… But what’s the worst that’s going to happen?‼️ The uncomfortable feeling will pass 😬 
So.. lunch: @bootsuk Boots Shapers Tikka Chicken 🍗 Flatbread 😮 with EXTRA Tikka Chicken Slices and Salad 🥗 - can’t beat a Boots meal deal they are the best!
Ahh I know this may not seem like a big deal to most people as it’s just a ‘lower option’  flatbread 🤷‍♀️ but this was SO TOUGH for me ‼️ any kind of premade sandwich is already really challenging as I worry that it’s not the calories which it says on the packet… Not only this this was a WHITE bread and white carbs are off-limits according to anorexia and I haven’t had them in ages – So facing that fear 😦 AND this wasn’t quite enough protein on its own even though this was the same amount as my usual flatbread I decided to use up the open packetof Tikka  slices I had in the fridge as I knew that was the sensible thing to do instead of throwing them away… It felt so wrong and abnormal to add extra chicken to this but I knew it was necessary 💪 I was so so tempted to have my safe home-made chicken Tikka that bread as obviously it was the lower option and had less carbs but why waste a perfectly good premade flatbread I got reduced in boots yesterday for only 50p? 😩 so after much deliberation and taking each option in and out of the fridge eventually decided just to suck it up and have the more challenging option… I was already feeling guilty about it before eight it but OMG it was worth it 💥 Ana was screaming but  felt good to go against her what difference was a few extra grams of carbs going to make and if anything I knew I needed the extra energy after being active walking around all day so that help me justify it… It was really tasty as well I forgot how nice white bread is 😋 chicken breast slices in a tikka style dressing which was creamy which freaked me up at first but it really complimented the chicken and the spiciness 🌶 The flat bread was really s

FEELING THE FEAR AND DOIBG IT ANWAY AFTER A FAB DAY 😦 💪 had an amazing day but I’m feeling super anxious and guilty about all this food… I chose to have some scary options for both lunch dinner and night snack and now it’s hitting me the thoughts are so loud… But what’s the worst that’s going to happen?‼️ The uncomfortable feeling will pass 😬 So.. lunch: @bootsuk Boots Shapers Tikka Chicken 🍗 Flatbread 😮 with EXTRA Tikka Chicken Slices and Salad 🥗 - can’t beat a Boots meal deal they are the best! Ahh I know this may not seem like a big deal to most people as it’s just a ‘lower option’ flatbread 🤷‍♀️ but this was SO TOUGH for me ‼️ any kind of premade sandwich is already really challenging as I worry that it’s not the calories which it says on the packet… Not only this this was a WHITE bread and white carbs are off-limits according to anorexia and I haven’t had them in ages – So facing that fear 😦 AND this wasn’t quite enough protein on its own even though this was the same amount as my usual flatbread I decided to use up the open packetof Tikka slices I had in the fridge as I knew that was the sensible thing to do instead of throwing them away… It felt so wrong and abnormal to add extra chicken to this but I knew it was necessary 💪 I was so so tempted to have my safe home-made chicken Tikka that bread as obviously it was the lower option and had less carbs but why waste a perfectly good premade flatbread I got reduced in boots yesterday for only 50p? 😩 so after much deliberation and taking each option in and out of the fridge eventually decided just to suck it up and have the more challenging option… I was already feeling guilty about it before eight it but OMG it was worth it 💥 Ana was screaming but felt good to go against her what difference was a few extra grams of carbs going to make and if anything I knew I needed the extra energy after being active walking around all day so that help me justify it… It was really tasty as well I forgot how nice white bread is 😋 chicken breast slices in a tikka style dressing which was creamy which freaked me up at first but it really complimented the chicken and the spiciness 🌶 The flat bread was really s - 9 hours ago

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I don’t have to be sick to be lovable. ⠀
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Not a riveting thought for most. However- For a girl who at fourteen started associating the statement, “I’m worried about you,” with “I love you,” this truth was monumental. ⠀
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The first time I was surrounded by a group of like-minded women was when I entered my first eating disorder treatment center. Though we were sick both mentally and physically, it was the first time I realized that I’m not alone in my thoughts and my thoughts are not special. I had the privilege of meeting similar women again in my second and third treatment centers. I wouldn’t change those memories or those friendships for the world- but it also left me with the truth that in order to gain those friendships, I had to be sick and I had to be in treatment. ⠀
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Last weekend, I experienced a community in the real world. While I’m at my healthiest physically- all of that emotional turmoil and false truths that I’ve carried around since childhood is still there and it is holding me back from my fullest potential. Guess what? I’m not alone. I would be doing everyone a huge disservice if I tried to explain the magic that occurred in those rooms. What I can tell you is the absolute importance of having a community supporting and surrounding you with no judgment and full grace. ⠀
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I’m done being the girl with potential. This won’t happen overnight, but for the first time, I feel equipped with the support and skills to I need to begin the process of returning my body and soul to peace. Fitting (not shrinking) this scared & grown body into a space that hasn’t been occupied since childhood is going to require feelings, patience, and discipline.⠀
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Lucky for me- I have some amazing humans, some new and some old who are ready to hold my hand when asked but not afraid to give me the hard truths when needed. Find your community people. I promise you they aren’t as far away as you think.⠀
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📸: @jdpittman

I don’t have to be sick to be lovable. ⠀ .⠀ Not a riveting thought for most. However- For a girl who at fourteen started associating the statement, “I’m worried about you,” with “I love you,” this truth was monumental. ⠀ .⠀ The first time I was surrounded by a group of like-minded women was when I entered my first eating disorder treatment center. Though we were sick both mentally and physically, it was the first time I realized that I’m not alone in my thoughts and my thoughts are not special. I had the privilege of meeting similar women again in my second and third treatment centers. I wouldn’t change those memories or those friendships for the world- but it also left me with the truth that in order to gain those friendships, I had to be sick and I had to be in treatment. ⠀ .⠀ Last weekend, I experienced a community in the real world. While I’m at my healthiest physically- all of that emotional turmoil and false truths that I’ve carried around since childhood is still there and it is holding me back from my fullest potential. Guess what? I’m not alone. I would be doing everyone a huge disservice if I tried to explain the magic that occurred in those rooms. What I can tell you is the absolute importance of having a community supporting and surrounding you with no judgment and full grace. ⠀ .⠀ I’m done being the girl with potential. This won’t happen overnight, but for the first time, I feel equipped with the support and skills to I need to begin the process of returning my body and soul to peace. Fitting (not shrinking) this scared & grown body into a space that hasn’t been occupied since childhood is going to require feelings, patience, and discipline.⠀ .⠀ Lucky for me- I have some amazing humans, some new and some old who are ready to hold my hand when asked but not afraid to give me the hard truths when needed. Find your community people. I promise you they aren’t as far away as you think.⠀ ⠀ 📸: @jdpittman - 9 hours ago

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Once again I started the day with two fruit and grain bars. 
Later, I actually ate a big lunch. It was chicken salad ina croissant, a banana, and half a bag of sun chips, plus skim milk. 
When I got home, I had a donut. 
Then for dinner, I had a bowl of lucky charms, and then a bowl of ice cream, chocolate and strawberry. And that’s all

Once again I started the day with two fruit and grain bars. Later, I actually ate a big lunch. It was chicken salad ina croissant, a banana, and half a bag of sun chips, plus skim milk. When I got home, I had a donut. Then for dinner, I had a bowl of lucky charms, and then a bowl of ice cream, chocolate and strawberry. And that’s all - 9 hours ago

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🍁«𝙄𝙛 𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨𝙣'𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙘𝙠, 𝙗𝙪𝙞𝙡𝙙 𝙖 𝙙𝙤𝙤𝙧.»🍁
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Since I was twelve, I’ve had two different voices going around my head. First, there’s MY real voice, this voice who loves going out with friends, going to the cinema with my family, having lunch out with my mom, watching movies while eating a pint of ice cream… and so many things more that I wouldn’t have enough time to mention them all.
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On the other hand, there’s my ed’s voice. So loud and so harsh against me. For more than five years, these voice has been telling me horrible things that I wish I hadn’t listened to. It told me to step away from everything I loved. No more hanging out with my buddies, no more evenings in front of the television, no more parties, no more family dinners… No more life.
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It kept haunting me day by day, trying to consume everything that was left of the real me and filling that empty space with nothing but sadness and desperation. It wasn’t until now that I realize that THIS Elizabeth, the one who’s talking right now, was unconsciously hiding a trick up the sleeve. With each minute that passed, she was just becoming stronger because she was already dealing with too much. Living a day enclosed in that bubble is a war, and she was fighting nonstop to get out of there.
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And the day came, when she finally showed who ruled her life, no one other than herself. It was really, really tiring and exhausting, both physical and mentally, but she did it. She still had some work left to be finished, but it wasn’t a big deal after everything that she has been through. She came out stronger than ever.
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Even if you’re thinking you’re a failure for being so “weak”, believe me, you’re not. You are a warrior, an unstoppable fighter and nothing is gonna change that. Existing in this world is already a difficult task, with all the critics and hate we sometimes have to deal with. Hell, even being oneself is complicated without being scolded or corrected.
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(𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙪𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 ⬇️⬇️⬇️)

🍁«𝙄𝙛 𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨𝙣'𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙘𝙠, 𝙗𝙪𝙞𝙡𝙙 𝙖 𝙙𝙤𝙤𝙧.»🍁 . . . Since I was twelve, I’ve had two different voices going around my head. First, there’s MY real voice, this voice who loves going out with friends, going to the cinema with my family, having lunch out with my mom, watching movies while eating a pint of ice cream… and so many things more that I wouldn’t have enough time to mention them all. . . . On the other hand, there’s my ed’s voice. So loud and so harsh against me. For more than five years, these voice has been telling me horrible things that I wish I hadn’t listened to. It told me to step away from everything I loved. No more hanging out with my buddies, no more evenings in front of the television, no more parties, no more family dinners… No more life. . . . It kept haunting me day by day, trying to consume everything that was left of the real me and filling that empty space with nothing but sadness and desperation. It wasn’t until now that I realize that THIS Elizabeth, the one who’s talking right now, was unconsciously hiding a trick up the sleeve. With each minute that passed, she was just becoming stronger because she was already dealing with too much. Living a day enclosed in that bubble is a war, and she was fighting nonstop to get out of there. . . . And the day came, when she finally showed who ruled her life, no one other than herself. It was really, really tiring and exhausting, both physical and mentally, but she did it. She still had some work left to be finished, but it wasn’t a big deal after everything that she has been through. She came out stronger than ever. . . . Even if you’re thinking you’re a failure for being so “weak”, believe me, you’re not. You are a warrior, an unstoppable fighter and nothing is gonna change that. Existing in this world is already a difficult task, with all the critics and hate we sometimes have to deal with. Hell, even being oneself is complicated without being scolded or corrected. . . . (𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙪𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 ⬇️⬇️⬇️) - 10 hours ago

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