I’m am human too. You are human too. Yup, I’m a “doer”. I have a haptic energy, pottering, fidgeting, pacing, working, creating, learning, growing, Doing. Doing. Doing. Always doing. .
I am CRAP at meditation- but I TRY. I am CRAP at ‘wasting’ a day on Netflix - but I CAN. I am TERRIBLE at controlling anxiety- but I WORK on it. Work is/was a huge outlet for me. I own a restaurant. We all know what that means right now. .
So I do, I do the things, the last two weeks I have filled my feed here with my DOINGS. Well, one thing I didn’t share last week but am sharing today are these photos. #totalfuckingmeltdown . .
I went to my restaurant, I talked to my business partner, what loan do we apply for? Do we apply? When should we reopen for take out only? I did crazy research. Found out everything. Followed my gut. Went from one loan to the other in certainty and back again. Called 5 banks, talked to accountants. RESEARCH. made a plan. Left the restaurant and fucking lost it in the car. .
“Ugly crying” they say. Slobbering, hyperventilating, snot nosed bawling. .
Got myself together to enter my home and lost it again when my husband asked how I was. Slobbered all over him in a flood of tears (so not COVID-kosher). I have shed so many tears for my employees. So many for my community, for the world. These tears? They were for ME. For MY business. for MY loss. .
I just wanted a minute outside to finish a journal entry. So my hubby gave me his bose headphones to shut out the world. This is me losing my shit. Still crying hours later, writing. .
#iamhumantoo if you need to lose it, do it. #youarehumantoo
#humans #covid #tears #emotions #itsok #doit #trumpvirus #dieforthedow #whatisevenhappening #journal #journaling #witch #pagan #restaurants #restaurantowner #wtf #helpus #newworld #whatdayisit #tears #letitout #beyou #blessedbe - 48 minutes ago