Last week I released I had fallen back into an old trap: holding back my freest expression out of fear of how I would be judged.
When I came back home to the Netherlands I heard the wildest stories go round about how I had supposedly completely lost my way, had friends tell me they thought I had gone crazy and others tell me I was just in a ‘phase’.
Even though I had already gotten used to being seen as different, I started questioning myself, perhaps I was indeed being way too weird? Too different? An achievement very easy to accomplish in a country where the morale is “Just be normal, then you are already being crazy enough”.
So I dimmed my light and I changed my ways. I adapted to the norm so I’d fit in just a little bit more. So I’d be just a little less judged. Beliefs and behaviors that creeped in so sneakily that I didn’t notice for several months.
Until I saw what I was doing and looked at myself in shock.
Really, V? This is what you’re doing? Don’t you remember that we are here for liberation, not adaptation? Can’t you see that we need people to clear the path, so that others can see it? Have you forgotten that people judge in others what they judge in themselves? That it is all their reflection? That it is not about you?
Sigh. Yes. It is so easy to forget.
And I remembered:
One of the greatest ways of being of service is being a permission slip for others. To be so free in your expression that others feel free to do the same. To leap over the edge of fear over and over again, so that you can let others know that there is a soft landing on the other side. To clear the path of liberation so that others can find it too.
I’m so grateful for all the beautiful permission slips that have shown up in my life. Those whose courage I can think of when I’m yet again standing at the edge of another layer of self-expression, not sure whether it is safe to leap.
I’d love it if you’d add a comment with the first three permission slips that come to mind, to let them know you see them for what they do.
@blu_cosmic_eagle , @christina.sthair , @zaharazimring , I see you! Thank you ❤️ - 37 minutes ago