RESTAURANT ETIQUETTE: HOW TO GUARANTEE PEPPA PIG 🐷
RIGHT MY TODDLER CHUMS! .
Here's the thing, your parents want to eat in peace 🧘♀️Therefore, if you push them enough, they won't g̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶h̶i̶t̶ care how bad it looks that they are shoving you in front of a screen. They are obviously going to try a few little tic tacs of their own first; the colouring, the books, the toys. Don't get me wrong, they are great but you get all of those at home.
Here's how to play it.
1. Look interested in the toys for a couple of moments, but then chuck them all on the floor - the pencils, the colouring menu the kind waitress just gave you, the books, the fake phone that Mum keeps trying to convince you is the replicate of hers ... it's ALL got to go.
2. At this point, one of them may take you for a run around. Run f̶u̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ fudging riot. For extra oomph, fall into a few things - the staff, the bar stools. Become a hazard.
3. If you have done your job right, the parent you're with will be thinking #fml and will want to return to the table. Kick up a fuss about having to get back in the high chair. Stiffen your body for extra drama. If the other diners are looking over, you are doing it right. Well done.
4. You may be bribed with food. Take it and sit down. This is your chance to eat fried chips and all the stuff your Mum may not give you at home.
5. Winge. LOUD. Scream if you have to and point to your Mum's actual phone. If neccessary, simply scream "Peppa". If they don't cave by then, then quite frankly you need to re-evaluate your efforts. If you have done a REALLY good job, you'll buy yourself an extra 10 minutes while your Mum and Dad hash out who's drinking and who's driving. If you manage that, then my friend you have skill. Especially if Dad ends up drinking. By the end of the meal, they will have a chat about how Dad needs to cut down on his drinking. That'll buy you an extra half an hour.
REMEMBER, it's all about balance. You want to push your parents enough to get them to tipping point but DO NOT TIP THEM OVER! Otherwise, they'll end up scooping you right out of that highchair and taking you home and then you're f̶u̶c̶k̶e̶d̶ fudged!
Best of luck! - 2 hours ago