“I want to see the sun blotted out of the sky”
Pens on Mixed Media
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Don’t mind me. Just getting some emotions out.
It’s been nearly a half year since my last post here, and I’ve overdue for a return. I know I keep saying the same shit over and over about how I’m back and I’ve got so much to post. It hasn’t stopped being true, I’m just shit at being consistent in everything I do in life, so maybe if I say something enough I’ll actually listen to myself and stick around? I don’t know.
It’s a weird time of year for various reasons, and normally I find that I go quiet and keep to myself for while, but I’m trying my best to not do that this time. I may have recently dropped off of social media for over a week, but it’s going better than usual, I think.
As far as I know, I do want to draw more. I’m taking a well-needed break from cosplay stuff because all my cosplay friends with their cosplans and cosprogress and excitement over whatever just makes me feel fuckin’ useless. I have no money or motivation to do anything new, and I don’t even have the energy or desire to post about the few things I’ve done already. There’s nothing for me in that world right now.
After what feels like weeks of tidying and trying to organize my room and reclaim my work space, I finally sat down and scribbled something on paper tonight. Literally. Though I’m currently kinda lethargic overall, there’s a part of me inside that is frustrated and fuckin’ done with myself for not trying harder to do more. To do anything really. So this is me screaming. Screaming with every ounce of my being to try. Just fuckin’ try so that I can say I did, failure or not.
I’m sure I’ll feel better later (I’m actually feeling a bit better already just having drawn something), but for personal reference:
Today is January 25, 2020. I see my red door, I must have it painted black.
#Drawing #InkDrawing #Art #InkArt #InkArtist #Ink #InkIllustration #ArtistsOfInstagram #ArtOfInstagram #PenArt #SakuraPens #Scream #LongHair #Moustache #PortraitDrawing #SelfPortrait #InkPortrait #Illustration #PaintItBlack #TheRollingStones @sakuraofamerica - 51 minutes ago