it's okay to feel all type of ways momma, sending a million hugs and lots of love to see you through 🙏🙏 . A long post today!
I’ve had lots of messages asking if I’ve had the babies as I’ve been quiet this past week, but nope... still preggo.
Instead, I’ve been in and out of hospital throughout the week with reduced movement, then a horrific migraine that meant I couldn’t keep fluid or food down (and don’t even mention the light!), then a bleed, then absent movement and so on. I’ve had another growth scan which shows one baby measuring wildly above the 100th percentile (something around 150th) for measurements and expected growth, and the other on the more normal range, but for twins - both large. Good growth, but there’s an increasing difference between them which the hospital are monitoring and they may take them out a little earlier than planned as a result.
So, until then, I’m still waddling around with nasty PGP and it’s finally dawning on me that we’ve got some difficult decisions to make about our third triplet in the next week 👼🏻 However, I have had so much support and advice from other mums and mums to be about birthing an angel baby and the potential steps afterwards, and for that I’m so grateful.
Although miscarriage is common, it’s still not spoken about much, and it’s really uncommon to hear people discussing the experience of having to give birth after loss. So many people say, in love, that I’m lucky I still have two, or that I shouldn’t dwell on it and should “think positively”, which means I feel guilty having mixed emotions over this pregnancy, and I can feel myself shutting down a little at the moment.
BUT, I’m finding that hearing of people’s experiences is really helping me and I’m trying to be more confident in acknowledging that this is still a triplet pregnancy, I am still going to birth three babies, and we are going to have to grieve for one and lay him to rest. And know that it’s okay to talk about it... 📷 @my_triplet_twins - 5 minutes ago