I don’t know if this has been done before, but I had to respond somehow to the comments of the “Mamma Mia” music video on YouTube. Please let me know if you already saw it.
Now for another infamous ramble that somehow relates. I’ve been watching lots of music videos to escape reality. Well, I’m going through a little bit of a rough patch. The whole year actually. Maintaining the spirit of The Office and staying truthful. I’ve been dealing with a lot since December due to a beloved elderly relative being ill and making some major decisions with grad school. I’ve always been terrible with end of chapter matters. I don’t know if it’s normal or an aspect of being on the autism spectrum. I feel like the 12th grade version of myself has come back to haunt me in hopes of trying to be my main identity right now. Discussing 12th grade Sandra will be triggering to anyone struggling with mental health and body image because that was the basis of my last year of high school - the start of my eating disorder. I won’t get too deep into the details because I don’t want anyone doing what I did, at most I will say that I was obsessed with The Carpenters for the wrong reasons. As I said in a prior post, I have been listening to The Carpenters a lot lately because of the art project I wanted to do in SoCal and February 4th. I must have used it for a coping mechanism with all this shit going on, which mirrors 12th grade. Back then, I had no choice but to go to community college, my friends were leaving me, and felt inadequate. In a wrongful sense, I took out my need for control on my body. I am not proud of it in the slightest way. Jumping back to now, I engaged in some impulsive behaviors like blowing my money on expensive items and telling people things I had no intention of telling them. But I have not engaged in any eating disorder behaviors. I have to be strong because I’m interning at an outpatient facility and I don’t want to put my parents through that hell again. They know I’m having a hard time and they’re helping me through it. College senior Sandra will be more badass than 12th grade Sandra. On a lighter note #QOTD 1️⃣- Do you like The Office? 2️⃣ - Do you like ABBA? - 5 hours ago