The last few days my activity has been as high as it has not been for the last 4.5 years. Naturally, not all my body was ready for such loads. Especially hard for the legs. After yesterday's two-hour walk I came home tired, my legs ached and on several fingers there were painful calluses. Carrying the weight of three people is really terrible.
I do not want to dig into the past (believe me, there is little good) and look for the reason why I scored on myself. I don't want to think about why you didn't help a little eleven-year-old girl who had a metabolic breakdown during puberty. Why didn't my mother drag me by the hand to the doctors, and let everything down on the brakes after one of my tantrums, during which I said that I do not want to take numerous expensive tests for hormones.
I, too, put enough effort that would bury themselves deeper in hole from which in thereafter had to extricate, because me not like die young.. and fat.
Since high school, I've developed a lot of complexes, insecurities, and self-loathing. I had no friends. There was no support of relatives. There were no cozy gatherings with family and discussions over dinner as the day passed. But there was a lot of ridicule, insults, loneliness, betrayal and a couple of unsuccessful attempts to kill themselves.
I grow and grow. I finish school, College and I throw into adulthood with all the consequences. You need to hustle, look for a job, work a job, live on schedule. Even at the search stage, I realized that I did not want to work in a profession, I do not like it, but at that time there was no choice. I go where they take without experience and close to home. I go to hell for 5 years.
I'm starting to ruin my health. I smoke and often drink with the wench at work cheap Vino from boxes. Still don't understand how stupid I am and what is necessary to protect yourself, not to kill (nicotine and alcohol stopped drinking a few years later).
#live #fitness #gym #workout #motivation #fit #healthy #health #lifestyle #cardio #fitfam #weightloss #wellness #weightlossjourney #goals #fitnessjourney #weightlossmotivation #pain #fitfam #sadness
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