Something we shy away from and conceal. Something we're typically unwilling to discuss.
Something that every single living thing experiences, physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually; all of life understands pain in a different way.
Something that feels different for those who experience it and even more so for those who experience it exponentially. .
What does pain mean to you?How do you move through and past your pain? What are the skills, tools, and resources you call upon when experiencing pain? .
I ask because I physically live in a constant state of pain. Yet, I've shyed away from sharing this with others, even my own family. I've silently (and really, not so silently) suffered for the past few years with a chronic pain disease in my face called Trigeminal Neuralgia. And when I say suffered, I'm telling you: S. U.F.F.E.R.E.D. It really fucking hurts. And its debilitating. .
For being a mostly healthy child and adult, this disease has changed my life and the way I live it, forever. It continues to change the way I live daily. And I never really wanted to share with others what I was going through, what I was experiencing, how I was feeling mentally and emotionally because I didn't want to be a burden. Let me repeat that: I DIDN'T WANT THE PHYSICAL PAIN I FELT AND FEEL CONSTANTLY TO BE A BURDEN TO OTHERS. And what happened? It left me, myself, and I to carry the burden alone, to face the crippling fear and shame and anxiety alone, and to find my freedom and my health alone. .
And what has been the result. Jack shit. I'm still in A LOT of pain. And while I've felt temporary relief, it's been just that: temporary. I'm no longer looking for temporary; I'm looking for permanent. .
"So, what is the point of this post?" - you may be asking yourself. Well, for starters, I aim to be authentically me, no hiding, no shape-shifting. This is something I am working on as a part of my journey to health. I use the word aim specifically because for most of my life I've hidden my authenticity, except for few and far between moments with special people. [CONTINUED IN COMMENTS] - 2 minutes ago